The Beginning

Since we were married during graduate school, my husband and I had no immediate plans to start a family. Actually, having an "oops" baby during the first few years of our marriage was one of our biggest fears! There were a lot of goals we needed to accomplish and dreams we wanted to fulfill before having a baby. We wanted to do things "right" and to be "ready."

We followed the plan. I graduated with my PhD and Nick earned his Master's degree. We relocated to a different state to begin our careers. We saved money, contributed to retirement, and took vacations (including Paris!).  We bought a house and made it a home. We expanded our family by adopting a dog, a standard size dachshund named Heinz. We settled into our jobs and into a routine. We reflected on our first three years of marriage, and we decided we were finally ready to have a baby.

At this point, the plan went awry. We thought we would be one of the 50% of couples who conceive within the first 3 months. No. Then, maybe, one of the 75% of couples who conceive within 6 months. No. Then, surely, one of the 90% of healthy couples who conceive within one year of trying. No. Month after month passed, and we failed to meet these statistics.

Slowly,we began to come to the painful realization that this isn't going to be easy for us; that we might be dealing with infertility. We reluctantly but anxiously scheduled an appointment with a fertility specialist (reproductive endocrinologist). At the present time, we are currently undergoing diagnostic testing.

This blog is intended to keep our family and friends informed of our progress throughout this journey. We also hope it will bring awareness to the struggles of infertility while serving as a means of coping with the loneliness, anxiety, frustration, and depression that accompany a diagnosis. Lastly, we hope to chronicle our thoughts, feelings, and actions in what we hope is a story with a happy ending.

The name for this blog is our mantra: It's not IF but when. We are not going to let infertility (IF) ruin our hope and dream of someday having a family, how ever that may happen!